Poetry

[Trunks]

Didnt know HE had a sensitive side hehe xD, good poem by the way, keep them coming

[Ric]

I like it. Not to bad at all. It gives a pretty good story and I liked how it endded. good job.

[Brutal]

Great job, I liked the ending, it was good.

[Mr Despair]

Alright, this one is a little more...emotional.

Your Consequences

You fooled, you left me lying the dark,
As I scratched, tore your name on the tree's bark,
My heart told me you were not like the rest,
But over time I've discovered that you're no best,
I often think of what will be of me tomorrow,
Will I be clouded by my shadow's sorrow?,
Will your wickedness take my soul until it can get no further?!,
Or,will you just let me die so you can find another?,
Now, do you feel like you've done wrong, do you feel guilty?
Don't you feel like your insides are completely filthy?
Your betrayal, your malice, and your lust,
Have turned the love and respect I had for you into dust.

Comments? =3

[Vendetta]

I like the second, out of the two. And I'm glad to see you writing again. Very good, both of them. I caught two or three lines that didn't make 100% sense, but, I got the jist of it. Anyway, keep it up.

First - 8/10
Second - 8.5/10

[Enchanted Rose]

^ He pretty much said it really.

Both were great, particularly the second one, but both were considerably weakened by some lines that didn't quite make sense. For example, talking about the bark of a tree - nice imagery, but seemed as if you'd just it for the rhyme alone.

Keep on writing. You're so good.

[Mr Despair]

Originally Posted by Enchanted Rose

^ He pretty much said it really.

Both were great, particularly the second one, but both were considerably weakened by some lines that didn't quite make sense. For example, talking about the bark of a tree - nice imagery, but seemed as if you'd just it for the rhyme alone.

Well what I was trying to say by that is that when two persons are in love they usually put their names on the tree. For example Joe <3 Gina ( scratching Gina off ). I didn't want to put the rest because it would have unbalanced more the poem.

I'll try and write more.

[Enchanted Rose]

Yea, I know, but it requires a little longer to worth out that's what you're alluding to. Once I saw my name on a LAMPOST, and I was liek 'wtf now', but generally I don't think it's that commonplace, unless it's an American thing ;D

[Sora/Kairi/Riku]

I wanna try one. I suck at them though, I'm only good at making up stories, kinda like screeenwriters for movies, so don't laugh.

I'm going to Dawn.
Or wherever I'm to go.
I see the bright light shining,
Shining in my heart.

I'm going to Twilight.
Darkness lies ahead.
But I'm not afriad,
For darkness is the only way.

Day has gone,
Night has went,
I'm stuck in the middle.
An endless road lies ahead.

(Doesn't make much sense, huh?)
And I loved your poem HE, good job.

[incandescenza]

oooo. its kinda nice. it doesn't have too much substance behind it (it seems a tad kh based) but that doesn't mean it still can't be good, right?

[Sora/Kairi/Riku]

Thanks. Ya, it was based about the whole dark a dn light thing from KH.

[Mr Despair]

I thought it was good, I don't know why you would say that people would have laughed at it.

[Sora/Kairi/Riku]

Well, I'm kinda shy, so you know

[Dawning Twilight]

Originally Posted by Sora/Kairi/Riku

I wanna try one. I suck at them though, I'm only good at making up stories, kinda like screeenwriters for movies, so don't laugh.

I'm going to Dawn.
Or wherever I'm to go.
I see the bright light shining,
Shining in my heart.

I'm going to Twilight.
Darkness lies ahead.
But I'm not afriad,
For darkness is the only way.

Day has gone,
Night has went,
I'm stuck in the middle.
An endless road lies ahead.

(Doesn't make much sense, huh?)
And I loved your poem HE, good job.

hmm definitely KH based lol and no i'm not laughing at you just merely at the fact that it formed a nice poem. i enjoyed the last 4 lines the best it seemed to flow nicely especially the rhyming of the two ending words on lines 10 and 12 went and ahead incase that was a little blurry.

[Day_Day]

OMIGOSH!

THAT IS SOO GOOD! I LOVE IT!!

BETTER THAN MINE!!!

strangly that's how i feel bout my ex............

anyway you are soo good!

let's share our poems w/ each other when ever....if u want