Two poems I wrote...

[Yue]

If anyone feels this doesn't belong here, go ahead and move it, since I don't have any modding powers V_V.

Anyway, I'm not that bad a writer (I hope) and I was hoping for reviews, suggestions. Criticism is acceptable, good and bad, but don't be a donkey's rear-end about it ~_~

http://www.fictionpress.com/~susanootherenegade

That's my account on fictionpress.com where my only two good pieces lie.

-BBL

[Enchanted Rose]

I read Elements and I thought that the theme was kind of cliched but I really liked your choice of language. My favourite stanza was the fifth one- um random suggestion you could say "The elements have brought me THUS far" I don't know why it seems more natural to say so. Sorry if this doesnt hepl.

[Yue]

Anything is appreciated from readers o_O

[Ecstasy]

I already commented on your "Elements" poem.

Enlighten, and to spread the merry.

Merry is an adjective, you'd have to use the word "merriness" in that context. Nice try for a rhyme, though.

Plant the seeds who brighten the lands

Alright, I'm assuming the maiden is doing this. You need to check your subject/predicate plural forms. Maiden is singular, so the verb must also be singular. "A maiden, whom we all adore, plantS the seeds which brightenS the lands" Oh yeah, seeds can't be a "who" so you'd need the "which" :D

In some lines you have an awkward, Yoda type sentence order. This is understandable, however, since you have the "ABAB CDCD..." rhyme scheme. Some comma misusages (when using the conjuction 'and' while joining only two things, you don't need a comma).

Very nice ^__^! Not many mistakes and well written<3

[Yue]

Note to self: Try not to trade grammar and spelling for the sake of... Yeah X_X

Thanks Stephers.