Golden Rules of the Military

[Snow]

Ok, I hope this makes sense.

Basically, in my study of history, I've kind of realised today's militaries are quite lackluster, what with their commandments of courage, glory etc.

So, let's say you get your own military force. What will be your golden rules, your commandments to guide your armies to victory? Actually, it can also apply to existing armies.

Here's mine:

1. Wars have been won by having more weapons. They have been won by having more men. But none have been won by having more pussies on their side.

2. Technological superiority can only get you so far if you're afraid to use it.

3. Men die in war. Make sure you aren't one of them.

4. If you can't win, then find a way to win.

5. Don't use your rifles to shoot open canned food if they are stuck.

6. When in doubt, use your flamethrower.

7. Enemy F-22 fighters are no longer scary if they are a smouldering wreck.

8. Keep moving. The enemy will, so why won't you?

9. If it works, it's an ingenious move. If it doesn't, it's a cowardly tactic.

10. The good guys are always the winners.


So, I really want to see what others can come up with.

And I really hope this is the right section for this.

[Ulti]

1. American Revolution proves that to be false.
2. Uh ok
3. Telling your men not to die is kinda pointless in a war
4. If you can't win, you fucking retreat. There is no point in pushing when you are losing ground
5. ...what?
6. I hope you don't get control of an army
7. Ok
8. Not so bad
9. So if your plan fails, you are a cowardly pussy? That doesn't make any sense
10. Bull fucking shit


War is stupid. I wouldn't want to have control of confused men and your entire future is based on if you are seen as the good guys or bad guys in the end.

[Bangkok Superpussy]

1) Look to your left and then look to your right. One of those men on either side of you only joined the army specifically because they wanted to shower with other naked men without having to go to jail.

2) If you have to masturbate, do it somewhere where you won't pass out from heatstroke, because nothing is more embarrassing than having your unconscious body discovered with your pants around your ankles and your dick in your hand.

3) If you need more than six clips of ammunition in a situation that doesn't require a ton of suppressing fire, there is almost no way you're coming home alive, so you may as well do something awesome like charge into the battlefield like Galahad screaming the lyrics to "America, Fuck Yeah".

4) Size ALWAYS matters.

5) Follow orders. I don't care if you're told to skateboard through a minefield to deliver a pack of Mentos to David Petraeus, you do NOT get to pick and choose which orders you follow when you're in the armed forces.

[Phoenix]

5) Follow orders. I don't care if you're told to skateboard through a minefield to deliver a pack of Mentos to David Petraeus, you do NOT get to pick and choose which orders you follow when you're in the armed forces.

I'd like to emphasize this. If you want to think things through, run for Senator.

[Candy Man]

Originally Posted by Ulti

4. If you can't win, you fucking retreat. There is no point in pushing when you are losing ground

Fuck that, we're invading Russia.

[SuperSephiroth15]

1. If you can't follow rules, don't bother joining the military.

2. If you can't handle teamwork, go home and don't come back.

3. Hope you're clean because you'll be taking a piss test every 6 months till you hit the officer rank. Then it's once every year.

4. Get used to calling your superiors, "Sir" or "Ma'm".

5. If you don't like any of these rules, don't try to join.

Those are the rules I would like. More like advice to those who are thinking of joining.

[Square Ninja]

look out west point graduates somebody is coming to rock your world

[Crossroads]

Originally Posted by Square Ninja

look out west point graduates somebody is coming to rock your world

Hahaha.
Nice.

[Du Soleil.]

1) Believe in what you're fighting for.

2) Do not disobey orders.

3) Have a backbone.

[auron10_KING.dvx]

this is the stupidest thread ever you guys need to stop playing so much metal gear solid

what with their commandments of courage, glory etc.

ugh you don't even understand it


go and join the army, come back in two years, and then make this thread

god you people sometimes

[Darkwatch]

The honest golden rules:

1. Human's should not have to kill each other over such minuscule insecurities.

2. You don't deserve to die for false purposes.

kthx

[Grace Assassin]

1.) Don't listen to grimmedslug.

Can't think of anything else, that's pretty much it.

[Du Soleil.]

Originally Posted by Darkwatch

The honest golden rules:

1. Human's should not have to kill each other over such minuscule insecurities.

2. You don't deserve to die for false purposes.

kthx

Miniscule insecurities? False purposes? What kind of fucking alternate universe do you live in?

[Sir Willis]

I'm pretty sure no one here is in the military or had been in the military. This thread is shit.

[Du Soleil.]

Originally Posted by Sir Willis

I'm pretty sure no one here is in the military or had been in the military. This thread is shit.

My partner of four years was killed in the war two months ago, so do I qualify?