OMG!

Time · 06/05/08, 01:48 AM

TEXAS (CNN) -- In light of recent terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a ban on all sales and distribution of the 1997 hit video game, Final Fantasy VII

The game involves the main character, Cloud Strife, planting bombs in power plants in a heavily populated city. The protagonist works with the terrorist group "Avalanche" bombing locations throughout the beginning of the game.

The decision was made only hours after the bombing of a chemical plant in Fort Worth, Texas. The FBI is still hot on the trails of the culprit, going by the hacker alias "frootloops". An FBI spokesperson told CNN at the time that investigators have already seized equipment in the culprits house, but frootloops was nowhere to be found. "Upon confiscation of the equipment, we found a large collection of child pornography on the culprits hard drive." said the FBI spokesperson.

President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment.

Parenting groups are also up in arms against the game. "These 'role playing games' are teaching our children to use magic and summon demons, they're destroying our childrens future and making them worship satan. We can't allow this to continue." Various forms of Magic have been a staple of every game in the Final Fantasy series dating back to Final Fantasy released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. "It's almost as bad as Harry Potter!" A parent who wishes to remain anonymous said.

Sen. Hillary Clinton also is highly opposed to the game.

"First Grand Theft Auto, and now this. I'm starting to think we should just ban all video games. Final Fantasy VII is an awful game, and should have never been created in the first place. I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future. The problem of explicit video games is spiraling out of control." Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission. Tifa's breasts were unavailible for comment.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., Target Corp., Best Buy Co. and Circuit City Stores Inc. have pulled the game from their shelves following the recent ban.

Forever Atlas · 06/05/08, 01:50 AM

LMAO! of all the games.... out of everything they decide to ban FF?????? >.> STUUUUUUPID!

What about freakin' games where you ARE a terrorist? Or freakin' games where you can run around and kill people at your whim.... >.> stttuuuuuuppppppiiiiid....

and heck I'm sure that Mario would blow up a plant if he had to.. pssh

KingBlade · 06/05/08, 01:52 AM

OH HELLZZ NOO

Final Fantasy VII = New terrorist weapon.

**Ken** · 06/05/08, 01:52 AM

It's FFVII, it's old. Go buy it on e-bay or something.

Endless Reason · 06/05/08, 01:52 AM

The cat did it =/ Nuff said

Brutal · 06/05/08, 01:54 AM

LMFAO .

Sora_Rox_My_Sox · 06/05/08, 01:56 AM

lmao, tifas breasts and mario

yes, a wonderful decision on the govs part. because every child that decides to play a FF game becomes a "spawn of satan devil worshipper." and our nation cant have any more of those running around. bravo for them.

risingfalls · 06/05/08, 01:58 AM

ROTFLOLLERSKATES.

This was just funny.

Crash! · 06/05/08, 02:00 AM

lol...worship demons.

THis is the most retarded thing I've heard this year!

And besides, Hillary Clinton blows nut hairs =/

XxRemnantxX · 06/05/08, 02:03 AM

LOL~This better be a joke. Because if he really said that I'd be like, "WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM DUDE?! Look around you! There ARE video games about terrorizing and FAR worse games. You. Are. An. Idiot." Hah. And I wouldn't care if they threw me into prison for saying that. As long as they provide me with game systems and all the latest KH and FF games. *laughs* Ah man. That was great. I would also be like~HOO Ima votin for Obama! XD....and if Obama opposed it I'd be like...."SHUN THE PRESIDENTS!!!!!!!!"

Forever Atlas · 06/05/08, 02:04 AM

okay just found out... it was a fake report... >.> i knew it sounded a little far fetched

Sora_Rox_My_Sox · 06/05/08, 02:09 AM

FAKE?! i was ready with my holy water too!

damn those devil worshippers!
lol, what hillary clinton said sounded legit

Imagine · 06/05/08, 02:12 AM

Wow... glad it's fake...... that would have been so messed up, if it was real.

Forever Atlas · 06/05/08, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imagine

LOLOLOL. GTA4 doesn't even deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as FF7....

They're not serious....? The game came out in 1997....

Crazy..

No... they aren't serious... I already said it was a fake article that came out a little while back..... >.>

KingBlade · 06/05/08, 02:14 AM

Was I the only one who thought this was legit at first? XD

06/05/08, 01:48 AM	#1
Time Asante sana Squash banana Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: You know you lived in the 90s when Toys R Us overruled the mall. Posts: 2,318 Rep Power: 8	OMG! TEXAS (CNN) -- In light of recent terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a ban on all sales and distribution of the 1997 hit video game, Final Fantasy VII The game involves the main character, Cloud Strife, planting bombs in power plants in a heavily populated city. The protagonist works with the terrorist group "Avalanche" bombing locations throughout the beginning of the game. The decision was made only hours after the bombing of a chemical plant in Fort Worth, Texas. The FBI is still hot on the trails of the culprit, going by the hacker alias "frootloops". An FBI spokesperson told CNN at the time that investigators have already seized equipment in the culprits house, but frootloops was nowhere to be found. "Upon confiscation of the equipment, we found a large collection of child pornography on the culprits hard drive." said the FBI spokesperson. President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment. Parenting groups are also up in arms against the game. "These 'role playing games' are teaching our children to use magic and summon demons, they're destroying our childrens future and making them worship satan. We can't allow this to continue." Various forms of Magic have been a staple of every game in the Final Fantasy series dating back to Final Fantasy released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. "It's almost as bad as Harry Potter!" A parent who wishes to remain anonymous said. Sen. Hillary Clinton also is highly opposed to the game. "First Grand Theft Auto, and now this. I'm starting to think we should just ban all video games. Final Fantasy VII is an awful game, and should have never been created in the first place. I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future. The problem of explicit video games is spiraling out of control." Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission. Tifa's breasts were unavailible for comment. Wal-Mart Stores Inc., Target Corp., Best Buy Co. and Circuit City Stores Inc. have pulled the game from their shelves following the recent ban.

06/05/08, 01:50 AM	#2
Forever Atlas The World Rests On Me Join Date: May 2007 Location: In your eyeball Age: 20 Posts: 2,470 Rep Power: 4	Re: OMG! LMAO! of all the games.... out of everything they decide to ban FF?????? >.> STUUUUUUPID! What about freakin' games where you ARE a terrorist? Or freakin' games where you can run around and kill people at your whim.... >.> stttuuuuuuppppppiiiiid.... and heck I'm sure that Mario would blow up a plant if he had to.. pssh

06/05/08, 01:52 AM	#3
KingBlade by sinspire^ Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Chicago Age: 17 Posts: 2,454 Rep Power: 6	Re: OMG! OH HELLZZ NOO Final Fantasy VII = New terrorist weapon. Last edited by KingBlade; 06/05/08 at 01:57 AM.

06/05/08, 01:52 AM	#4
Ken 242nd Suicide Kings Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 4,722 Rep Power: 10	Re: OMG! It's FFVII, it's old. Go buy it on e-bay or something.

06/05/08, 01:52 AM	#5
Endless Reason My Reason? It's Endless Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: That little place I call home Age: 15 Posts: 2,464 Rep Power: 5	Re: OMG! The cat did it =/ Nuff said Last edited by Endless Reason; 06/05/08 at 02:26 AM.

06/05/08, 01:54 AM	#6
Brutal lol sup Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: a ghetto little place in minnesota Age: 16 Posts: 3,406 Rep Power: 8	Re: OMG! LMFAO .

06/05/08, 01:56 AM	#7
Sora_Rox_My_Sox Ruler of Light Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: at that place, with that person, by that thing...ya know, with the stuff? Posts: 737 Rep Power: 1	Re: OMG! lmao, tifas breasts and mario yes, a wonderful decision on the govs part. because every child that decides to play a FF game becomes a "spawn of satan devil worshipper." and our nation cant have any more of those running around. bravo for them.

06/05/08, 01:58 AM	#8
risingfalls [The End of Everything] Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: The colors that pour through the streets. Age: 16 Posts: 1,171 Rep Power: 2	Re: OMG! ROTFLOLLERSKATES. This was just funny.

06/05/08, 02:00 AM	#9
Crash! I Can't Stand It!!! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Not far from where you are. Posts: 1,046 Rep Power: 3	Re: OMG! lol...worship demons. THis is the most retarded thing I've heard this year! And besides, Hillary Clinton blows nut hairs =/

06/05/08, 02:03 AM	#10
XxRemnantxX Organization Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: The Darkness of Your Heart Age: 15 Posts: 494 Rep Power: 1	Re: OMG! LOL~This better be a joke. Because if he really said that I'd be like, "WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM DUDE?! Look around you! There ARE video games about terrorizing and FAR worse games. You. Are. An. Idiot." Hah. And I wouldn't care if they threw me into prison for saying that. As long as they provide me with game systems and all the latest KH and FF games. laughs Ah man. That was great. I would also be like~HOO Ima votin for Obama! XD....and if Obama opposed it I'd be like...."SHUN THE PRESIDENTS!!!!!!!!"

06/05/08, 02:04 AM	#11
Forever Atlas The World Rests On Me Join Date: May 2007 Location: In your eyeball Age: 20 Posts: 2,470 Rep Power: 4	Re: OMG! okay just found out... it was a fake report... >.> i knew it sounded a little far fetched

06/05/08, 02:09 AM	#12
Sora_Rox_My_Sox Ruler of Light Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: at that place, with that person, by that thing...ya know, with the stuff? Posts: 737 Rep Power: 1	Re: OMG! FAKE?! i was ready with my holy water too! damn those devil worshippers! lol, what hillary clinton said sounded legit

06/05/08, 02:12 AM	#13
Imagine Heartless Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 8 Rep Power: 0	Re: OMG! Wow... glad it's fake...... that would have been so messed up, if it was real.

06/05/08, 02:14 AM	#15
KingBlade by sinspire^ Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Chicago Age: 17 Posts: 2,454 Rep Power: 6	Re: OMG! Was I the only one who thought this was legit at first? XD

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