My first literative wrighting(please no hatters!)

Jozi · December 6th, 2008, 06:44 AM

NOTE: THIS IS MY FIRST L ITERATIVE NOVEL, I AM SORRY IF THIS STORY LACKS INTEREST, OR ACTION, AND/OR DRAMA. SO PLEASE NO HATTERS!

THE BOOK THATS UN-NAMED

PART UNO:

CHAPTER ONE: What preps are made of

A PREP IS SHONE ABOVE
Hello, my name is Dani Scott.(I'm not the kid above.) I guess I should tell you about my self, I am fifteen years old. I live in Firstgrover, MASS, and I go to GREENSTATE SOCIAL SCHOOL(GSS for short.). I live with my mom(Rachel Scott), two twin sisters(Joun, and Mary), and my older brother(Jevidiah). I love graffiti, hip-hop/rap/r and b/ and heavy metal, I also like tribal tattooing, but most of all I LOVE SPICY FOOD!(Its my akeales heel.). I usually wear loose denims, heavy metal t-shirts, and my spray-painted Vans. I am about five feet, and ten inches. I have dirty blonde hair thats buzzed. Also I'm p.o.o.r, because of this "I dont fit in." So i only have a few friends. See where I live almost everyone is prep. Prep is a term me and my friends use to describe anyone who is: Rich, snotty, ungenerous, mean, and no sense of humor. Preps usually were AMERICAN EAGLE and @^*% like that. Right now I'm going to tell you a story, a story that changed my life....
"#!&^-it! Whats with these $&#*-en @^*^-ty shoes!" I screamed as I tried to multi-task. I could already here the bus at the bus stop. I rushed out-side with my backpack(which was full of everything that was supposed to be in my locker.)in one hand and my coat in another.
"Wait, your wallet!" My mom pleaded. Even though that was my wallet filled with lunch money I still ran out to the bus. Luckily I didn't miss it. Though I don't think it was worth it since the bus driver(AL) gave me a huge talk about how I was suppose to be there five minutes earlier, blah blah, blah.I glanced at the emty rows of seats(preps instead somehow get an older sibling to drive them to GSS.). I walked down the isle until I spotted my friend Jeb(his real name is Josh, Josh Edward Browney, pronounced Bro-ney.). Jeb wore tight redish-purple jeans with a plane t-shirt and a Marc Ecko vest. He was skinny has a twig, sometimes I have to hold him down if its windy! Jeb had long black hair, and a brown mustache. I sat where he was sitting. I looked back at by house, it looked pink, yes pink with a red chimney(the preps didnt tolerate it that much.).

NOTE: BECAUSE OF MY LIMITED TIME ON THE COMPUTER I WILL NOT FINISH THIS CHAPTER(MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY THINKING THATS A GOOD THING). SO I WILL TRY TO POST TOMORROW. CHEERS!

Mail Man · December 6th, 2008, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jozi parue

LACKS INTEREST, OR ACTION, AND/OR DRAMA.

Why should anybody read it then?

Crimson · December 6th, 2008, 04:47 PM

You should work on your grammar.
Also, all those brackets annoyed me a bit. And it's in general hard to read, because there's not much paragraphing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jozi parue

NOTE: BECAUSE OF MY LIMITED TIME ON THE COMPUTER I WILL NOT FINISH THIS CHAPTER(MOST OF YOU ARE PROBABLY THINKING THATS A GOOD THING). SO I WILL TRY TO POST TOMORROW. CHEERS!

I suggest you to first finish the chapter, then post it.

Random Queen · December 6th, 2008, 04:53 PM

I agree with FS!

Takuya · December 6th, 2008, 05:01 PM

Quote:

"#!&^-it! Whats with these $&#*-en @^*^-ty shoes!" I screamed as I tried to multi-task.

There's something kind of off with this.

Jozi · December 6th, 2008, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mail Man

Why should anybody read it then?

Because it is a work of process, I dont know if it will be a comedy of a action based story.

I'll try to edit it when I get a chance.

Also Frozen Soul you said I should I should finish the chapter before I post it. Well I dont have word, three years ago when we tried to get the internet, electricians said we had too many programs on our computer. So we had to get rid of everything, even word.

Essence of Elegy · December 6th, 2008, 06:09 PM

Well if it's a work in progress, I suggest sending it to a Beta Reader first, either me or someone else.

But before you do anything, go to this thread and read the rules for applying for a BR.

http://forums.khinsider.com/creative...ead-2-0-a.html

aldrain · December 6th, 2008, 09:34 PM

Somebody needs to work on their writing skills, while not DISSING IT!

Massive Attack · December 6th, 2008, 09:40 PM

I thought the thread title was a joke.

Nevermore · December 6th, 2008, 10:36 PM

The main thing you need to do is plan the general plot before actually starting. I'm a "go with the flow" writer myself, but I still have a general plan (main plot points and scenes, major characters, initial/major settings, etc.).

Until you've done at least that much, I'll hold off any further comments.

Essence of Elegy · December 6th, 2008, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kazukifafner

The main thing you need to do is plan the general plot before actually starting. I'm a "go with the flow" writer myself, but I still have a general plan (main plot points and scenes, major characters, initial/major settings, etc.).

Yeah, that's the way to go.

Crimson · December 7th, 2008, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jozi parue

Also Frozen Soul you said I should I should finish the chapter before I post it. Well I dont have word, three years ago when we tried to get the internet, electricians said we had too many programs on our computer. So we had to get rid of everything, even word.

Well, you could always write it first on paper, and then type it here, when you have more time.
You don't even have Wordpad? : O