Delusions Of Grandeur Chapter One

[Axel_FODF]

Ok this is the first chapter of my first story... Just to let you guys know it is about a girl who is stalked by a guy with serious delusions. Please comment and critique on it Thank you

Delusions of Grandeur
Dustin Hopkins

Chapter one

“Listen well will you marry me? Not now boy. Are you well in the suffering?...” starts playing loudly in my ear, arousing me from my heavy slumber. I turn my head to see that it’s just my phone, still singing at me, almost pleading me to hurry and answer it. I check the caller ID. It’s Ashley. I think, “Why was she calling me at…” I glance at the digital alarm clock for the time but it was continuously blinking 12:00 AM over and over again like the constant flickering of a vacancy sign going out at an old decrepit motel. I take a short breath and answer the phone.

“Hello?” I somehow managed to croak out, still drowsy from apparent lack of sleep.

“Emily! Did I wake you?” She could obviously tell that she had.

“Yeah? Well, too bad! You told me to call and wake your sorry ass up for class so you wouldn’t be late…..AGAIN.” I partially recall asking her to do so but I couldn’t recollect any other events that had occurred last night so I let it go and just went with it.

“I did, didn’t I?” was my solemn reply.

“Well, thanks Ash, I gotta get ready so I am going to have to let you go. See you in class. Bye.” A second later, her farewell was quickly followed by a click and the persistent beeping of a dead line.

Two minutes later, I finally manage to shake the remaining drowsiness out of my limbs and rise from my bed. I walk to the refrigerator, open the door, and yes! Monica, my roommate, had come through again with refilling the fridge. So, I pulled out a can of Mt. Dew and walked into the bathroom, sipping my can of soda, and turned on the shower. I walked back to my room and snagged my towel from the back of the desk chair where it was hanging. By the time I got back to the shower, the bathroom was full of condensed steam from the scorching hot water. I reached around the orange and pink-dotted curtain and felt the temperature of the bursting stream of water coming from the chrome shower head.

“Damn!” I yelled, quickly withdrawing my newly scorched hand from the cascading rush of burning water and reaching down to lower the temperature. I check it again and this time, it is perfect. Still hot, but not the same scorching heat as before, but just slightly cooler. Having successfully reached the desired temperature, I set down my can of soda, now dripping with condensation, and begin to shed off my clothing just as a snake does its dead skin, and step into the shower.

Fifteen minutes later, I am back in my room, throwing on clothes, and glance at my phone for the time. It read 8:15! Class starts in 7 minutes! So I threw on the remaining articles of clothing, not even caring how tired and disheveled I looked, but instead all I cared about was actually arriving to class on time. I hustle out of my room, jarring my elbow on the door jamb on my way out.

“My God, this is just not my day!” I think to myself, as I hurry off to Psych. Class. Now, Willow’s Veil College is a decent sized school and I have to walk half-way across the old-fashion styled campus. I check my phone again…8:20.

”Shit!” I yell, earning me disapproving glances by passerbys. As I start to put my phone away, it goes off. I check it. “One Unread Message.” It reads above the image of a white and foreboding envelope. I open the text. It’s from Ashley. I stop to read it.”Hurry up Em!” Oh God I forgot about class! I check the time once more. 8:21! I rip open the classroom door and start making my way down the aisles and down to my seat. I hurry down my aisle and bang my knee against my desk just as I sit down. The sound of my knee hitting the desk, sounded just like a hammer hitting a nail right on the head. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming out. I slowly turn my head to see the entire class glaring at me with disapproving glances.

”Sorry” I somehow manage to sputter out, still highly embarrassed about the whole ordeal. So, I pull out my notebook and begin to write about the prompt on the board, Mr. Long staring at me with of annoyance and concern.

When the class ended, I packed up my stuff and begin to leave, but I am stopped by a short, rough”Ms.Stevens?” I turn and see Mr. Long staring at me, head cocked, just as a dog does when it hears something unusual.

”Yes Mr.Long?” I asked him impatiently.

”Are you doing all right, Emily? You seem a little bothered lately. You turn up late, you fail all my tests, hell, you even fail to show any effort in my class anymore. Your work is either poorly done or not turned in at all. If there is something bothering you please let me know. I’m here as a teacher, but also as a friend” was his solemn reply. At first, I didn’t believe it, thinking it was just another one of those cliché remarks teachers always make, but I could actually hear concern for me in my teacher’s voice.

”Nothing’s wrong, Mr. Long, I have to go help Monica with her Stats homework, but what about tomorrow night at the Willow’s Veil Coffee Shop at around…. Let’s say seven?”

“Sure that’s fine. Now take it easy ok?” he replied, concern emanating from his reply.”Bye Mr.Long”, I called back as I opened the door and made to leave the room.”Oh, and Emily?” I turn back.

“Yes?”.

”Be careful”. I held that in my mind with careful consideration and gracefully leave the room.

I get back to the room, grab a soda, and silently await Monica’s return from Modern History on Block A of the campus. I waited an hour, and when she didn’t arrive, I pulled out my phone, now worried and concerned. I scroll down my contacts list to Monica’s name, and press call. Her phone rings four times, then from the other end I hear a

“Hello?”.

“Hey Mon, just won-“.

“HAHA. Gotcha. Sorry, but you just missed me. Leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible. If I like you that is.” This was followed by a short, flat beep instructing me to leave a message. Instead, I hung up. Two minutes later, my phone rang, Monica on the other line. I answered, and before I could ask her where she was, she answered first.

“Hey. Sorry. I got invited to this party by a couple of honest guys just looking to have some fun. I was talking to them when you called and my phone was on silent…..so yeah that’s why I missed your call. Sorry. Anyways…….you should go.”

“I don’t know about it, Mon”

“Please Em? Do it for me? We never hang out anymore. Pleeeeeease.”

“Oh, Alright”

“Yay! See you in a bit”

“Bye”. As I hung up the phone, I thought to myself,

“Don’t worry about it Em, the party will be fun and a breath of fresh air. God only knows you need one.”

[Riel]

Space that shit out, man. Nobody likes trying to read a massive wall of text.

[Audo]

Space issues. Fix it. Everytime someone new talks, a new paragraph needs to be made. Also, just by reading the first few sentences, I've noticed you switch from past tense to present tense and vice versa a lot. Pick one and stick with it.

I'll read more, and critique it, once you space it out.

[Axel_FODF]

ok sorry about the spacing issue... i fixed it and for some reason it doesnt stay tabbed but oh well

[Riel]

You didn't really fix it at all. I took the liberty of spacing it out for you.

[Axel_FODF]

Oh ok space it that much well thank you very much