Forest: The Spirits of Tomorrow [CHAPTER 6! Yay for weekend speed!]

[Tenyasyugan]

I’m actually finally typing this! Yosh! Anyway, this is a fictional writing I’ve been working on for ages and I wanted to post up a redone version here. Some of this stuff I made up when I was five so it’s changed a lot. I’m open for suggestions and am listening to criticism but I am allergic to burnt flesh.

Prologue

The Winds are Stirring.

Mountains peered above a dense cloud cover, mist fogging the branches of pines. A silence gripped the air as two wolves meandered down a forest path. One was a midnight black, it’s fur glistening with dew. The other was snow white and it licked it’s jowls expectantly. A branch cracking caused them to look up. Boar. To be more specific, a large, solitary, tusked boar. It slowly lifted it’s head, examined the two wolves, and went back to foraging. The wild-dogs continued on their way.

The black one sniffed at the ground. A herd of elk had passed through here. The white snuffed the air. They were close. At a loping pace, they grew closer and closer to the source of the scent. An opening. Then a clearing.

Both wolves circled around the area. It was full of a variety of things. Deer milled about the corners, eyeing their cousins. Pheasants and bluejays quarreled over seating while simple sparrows greeted eachother. Boars gathered together in a group, watching as the two wolves approached what was at the center of the meadow.

Trees towered above them all and from below, the antlers of the Elk sitting in the midst of all the life mingled with them. It’s deep black and brown eyes turned to the approaching duo. “Welcome, esteemed goddess and demon, Serentante and Corunda.”

[khfreak17]

wow. this sounds really good! you should write more

[Shadow-Love]

This looks good, very well done. I hope the chapters will be longer though. And a goddess and demon seeing each other and not trying to kill each other, very interesting.

[Tenyasyugan]

Thanks! This is only the prologue and the chapters will be much longer, I've already been working on it.

[Tenyasyugan]

Excuse doublepost:

Chapter one's up now. This is where things really start. I need some feedback if ya'll don't mind.

Chapter 1

Gather All

They grinned toothed smiles at the Elk who spoke their names. The white one spoke first, “Hello, grand Stag of the Elk. We heard your call and came with the winds’ fortune.” The great horns came down in a bow. The wolf of black sat on it’s haunches. “Is this truly the time for such courtasies?” A deep bleating, a form of laughter, came from the stag. “Corunda, sharp as a bear’s tooth as always. Yes. This is a time of conference.”

The surrounding creatures were now watching with great eagerness. A boar with three large scars on it’s side stepped forward. “Centurion!” His deep voice grated, “We of the Eastern trees have felt a new coming! The wolves keep secrets that must not be kept!” The other pigs called out in agreement and a cacouphany of sound erupted from the surrounding trees.

Serentante, the wolf in white, snarled at the crowds. “SILENCE!” All came to peace once more. The boar that had spoken out glared at the wolf. It glared back. “Have you forgotten? Forgotten that my sister and I am descendents of Gods? That your own leader carries that blood as well?” A snort of dissaproval came from the boars. “Hush you mere pups.” A growl now.

Corunda took center stage. “We do bring news. And all things are to be known amongst you lesser beasts.” All was listening in respected silence. Centurion, the Elk Stag, paced back to allow room. A smirk crossed the wolf’s face. “Such niceties did not always exist.” It looked out across the crowds that had formed. Both wolves now sat in the middle of the meadow. Corunda continued, “There once was a time, before all of us, when wolves ate most all of you. The bear devoured the salmon, the boar tusked the raccoon, the owl took the mouse.” Fearful eyes glittered and it was a deer who spoke.

“We once ate eachother? Such cannibalism! I would never dream of stabbing another lest it be in defense!” Sapphire eyes came to look at the deer. The white wolf spoke, “It was natural. Back then, I would’ve eaten you already. Your flesh become a part of me. That all changed long ago. With the ‘Walkers’.” Everything stepped back at that word. ‘Walkers’. The stag raised his head. “May I have these words?” Both wolves nodded assent.

Centurion trotted to the stand. “We all know of the ‘Walkers’. How they came and changed our lands. Took our Forest and turned it to stone.” His voice boomed across the meadow. “We also know that when they disappeared, something else came.” Frightened nods. “That something ran away. We never found it. But, we began to organize. We changed the Forest back into trees and we each took our own tribes to our own lands. Now!” He stomped the earth. “Something has returned.”

A brightly plumed pheasant spoke up, “What is this something? Will it eat us? Has it come back?” Corunda answered, “It was a strange and new creature. There were many of them and they all hissed like the snake and barked like the dog. They even crooned to the moon like us wolves. They ate fruits as we do and little meat. Only the dead, as we do. When they disappeared, that’s when we seperated. And we believe they could be returning, someday.”

The white wolf lifted her head. “That’s not why we are here. We are here for Demons have begun to run amok. The Somethings are what call the Demons, and they make them eat and eat and eat. Until we are all dead.” The wolf’s tongue rolled with the last word.

An eruption of sound once again. It was only stomped out as both wolves snapped at the crowds. A fox crept out from the shadows. “Weren’t we taught that all Demons died and all that was left were their descendents? Such as Corunda herself.” It slyly flitted by the wolf, it’s tail brushed gently against her paws and she gave a low growl. Serentanta answered, “Demons are here every day. They are the ones who still follow the old Savage ways. They drink from our rivers, sleep in our dens, and walk our paths. It is the Somethings that make them come to us.”

One of the boars shouted from it’s place. “Then we must Destroy the Somethings!” The others yelled the same, squeals filling the air. In a quick burst of speed and tooth, the boar was slain. Everyone stared in shock and awe at the black wolf who had done the crime. She licked her lips and said to them all, “I am part Demon myself, do not forget that.” The remaining boars backed away, eyes widened in fear. Corunda cooed, “Poor little children. No. We must not kill the Somethings. They’re the reason the Demons left in the first place. Perhaps we should think, the Somethings are hunted by the Demons.”

Serentante approached and licked at the carcass. “No use to let food go to waste.” She grinned.

Centurion, trusting of the two Wolves, approached them and said, “If the Somethings are hated by Demons, I voucher them as allies.” He looked to the crowds. “We should all see them as allies!”

Silence… Then a series of nods and even a bellowed ‘yes’.

Corunda looked up from her meal, “It’s settled then! We must find the Somethings, and help them to tame the Demons.”

[Shadow-Love]

Oh this is looking to be good. So the goddess and demon are the last wolves alive? Corunda has quite the savage side doesn't she.

[Tenyasyugan]

Thanks! ^.^

Good to know someone reads this... Anyway, I'll have the next chapter up in a few days. Having trouble with Word... >.<

[Coldman9]

Nice chapter, really good. Explains some things and kinda shows what's to come.

[Tenyasyugan]

Okay, here's Chapter two. A mild confrontation along with a brash action on Serentante's part... Comment and Criticise Please! :3

Chapter 2

Fate has humor

The meeting had cleared out rather quickly, many of the creatures having young ones to attend to. The boars were slow to leave, glaring at the two wolves with searing fear and hatred. Centurion looked up at the skies. His antlers reached high enough to scrape several branches. Serentante and Corunda sat patiently. They knew he had questions.

His head lowered. “Do you even know how to find these Somethings?” Corunda licked her paw in a catlike fashion. “Forest is huge, but the Demons it holds will show us the way.” The Elk’s eyes hinted towards worry. “The Demons? Would you really associate yourselves with such beasts?” The white wolf flicked her tail, “Never. We are simply going to hunt them. They follow the Somethings. They’ll most certainly lead us to them, wether they want to or not.”

The wolf of Black stood up and her sister stood next to her. “Good-bye, old Friend of the Forest.” The stag, realizing that they were departing, bowed his head, “Farewell, Wakers of the Moon.” An old name from Walker myth. Now the creatures had considered it a term of respect. Returning the courtasy, the wolves left. The only reminder of the meeting was a solitary carcass, almost picked clean and a few birds coming to scavange from it…

Several days had already passed. The only signs of any Demons were in the rumors and ruins of old dens. Corunda sniffed at the remains of an old dug out. Several sparrows had flitted by and informed them that a group of strange Jackels had passed through the area, a scent of unnaturalness to their hides.

Serentante gave them thanks and looked to her sister Demon. “Do you think that this is it?” Corunda merely flipped over a stump with her snout. “A Demon leaves little to their existence. I suppose word of beak is better then a nonexistent smell.” “We follow?” “We follow.”

Trees and ferns bordered the small paths they took. A disturbed branch, a few recently moved stones. These were all that stated another being had passed through here. A serpent passed by, hissing of something a mile to the North. The wolves moved as silent as the wind that blew through the trees. More and more perplexed creatures passed them by. Talk and chatter of a disturbance spread like wildfire here.

The ground slowly grew more and more covered by undergrowth. The pines loomed overhead, boughs blocking out the sky. The duo had been travelling for quite a while and night was coming fast.

Owls peered down on the wolves. A tawny owl hooted, “The eyes of red signal the morally dead. Eyes of blue and their soul is true. Green and their entirety is seen. Orbs of yellow and their manners are shallow. What, oh what am I to make of purple?”

A riddle, or was it? The bird took flight and a distant snapping caught their attention. Behind a wall of greenery lay a large moving cluster of animals. A small skreach and the owl was definitely dead.

Corunda and Serentante sniffed the air. Blood. Demons were here now. A series of barks and deep throated growls came from behind the bushes. They looked through the foliage and a gathering of Jackels were whooping around a solitary dark mass. It shivvered and let out a shrill squeal. The wild dogs only barked louder.

They stepped out from the shadows and faced the Demons. Red eyes stared out from black faces, white fangs glittering. Corunda snarled and looked at the curled up form on the ground. It had it’s head hidden by two webbed looking limbs and was emitting a frightened shriek every few moments.

A large dog stared at them, unblinking and questioned,”Why have you come, Wakers of the Moon? We have nothing to interest you!” It’s mouth barely moved as it spoke, making sure that it’s teeth were always shown. Corunda bared her fangs as well. “Then what is that at your feet?” The frail mass only quivered and fell silent. It knew they were talking about it.

The Jackel only sneered, “We hunted it ourselves. It’s flesh is ours for the taking. It’s Carriers are dead and so it belongs to us.” ‘Carriers’ was a term for parents. So they had slain it’s parents? Serentante approached the small form and the hounds only lowered their heads, teeth still sharp. Corunda looked at her sister, “What are you doing?” She almost hissed it.

The white wolf nuzzled the dark form and it whimpered. “It’s only a baby…” The jackels growled at her and in a fraction of a moment, she was running off with the small mass in her jaws. Corunda followed, nipping at the ankles of any following dogs.

“What are you doing?! Have you gone possessed?!” The black wolf was running at top speed, her sibling still holding the strange creature. Serentante only grinned as much as she could with the burden, her eyes glittering.

[Coldman9]

That was great, and really intersting. The hunt begins and they follow what they can. I hope the next chapter comes soon.

[Shadow-Love]

This is starting to look good. Is the animal they saved a platypus? Or is it one of the Somethings? This is getting really good.

[Tenyasyugan]

Tis a something... And thankies for the complements! The next chapter will be up either tomorrow or the day after. It depends on how school goes.

I actually have readers, and here I was thinking this was going to flunk.

[Coldman9]

Flunk!? No way, this is an awesome story. It's inspired me to write one of my own and put it up. I still have some writing to do but when it goes up I hope it'll be great.

[Nevermore]

It's interesting, to be sure. Honestly, I could see Miyazaki doing a movie with this kind of theme, lol. At any rate, I love the minimalistic details. Usually, I don't, but it seems to work here. You occasionally have two separate speakers in the same paragraph, which is generally a no-no when it comes to writing. My only real complaint is that the pacing feels a tad too brisk. You might want to try expanding scenes or adding more in-between. Either way, I look forward to more :)

[Tenyasyugan]

Criticism is greatly appreciated Nevermore ^.^

I was thinking about the two-people in one paragraph thing but most stories bypass it. The abruptness is due to Word being difficult and schoolwork piling up. I'll keep this in mind when I work on future chapters.