Oh, How Unfortunate (Chapter 7)

[Abbot]

So, out of pure boredom, I felt like starting a story. :/
I don't expect any of you to think it's good. I don't even think it's that great.
Also, you'll learn the main character's name in due time. And the actual plot of the story. There's more than this. Much more. I've got it all in my head somewhere. This chapter's pretty short by the way, but whatever. So, here goes.

Oh, How Unfortunate.

Oh, the profanity. – 1

How creepy. The creaks coming from upstairs aren't letting me fall asleep at all. I wonder what they could be doing up there. Why are they up there, anyways? And why aren't they letting me sleep? I thought sleep was an important part of your health. I'd assume anything disrupting your health is rude. Hm. How rude. They should really stop.

Also, I live alone. Alone alone. As in, I live in a lonely house, with two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a fridge. Oh, that reminds me. I think I'm running low on groceries. I should buy some sometime this week. What should I buy? I guess I should buy some lettuce. Salad is always good. I wonder if any of those creepy creaks would want any of my salad. Maybe they're vegetarians. They'd love my salad. Or, wait. Maybe they're carnivores. I'd better make steak sometime this week, then.

Hey, Maria was good at cooking steak. I wonder how she's doing. I think I'll see if I can visit her tomorrow. Well, if I'm not too drowsy. Those creaks sure do like invading the privacy of my home. I wonder when they'll stop. Probably never. Maybe they've always been there. Or maybe I'm just delusional. I wonder what Maria would say about that. Maybe she'd try to cook steak and fix everything. But, does steak fix everything? I guess, maybe it does sometimes. I'm hungry.

~. . .~

I lifted my blanket off of me, and slipped out of bed. I was still wearing my clothes. Huh. I thought I had taken those off.

It was pitch black around me. My clock was dead. I'd need to buy new batteries for it, I guess. I stumbled around my room, until I tripped forward and hit my head against the door. Holding my head in pain, I reached out for the doorknob, but couldn't find it. I walked forward a little bit. And a little bit more. And some more. And finally, as I walked forward just a bit more, I felt my bedroom door's doorknob. Pushing against my stomach. It hurt. I would try to express the pain to you, but I honestly can't.

Now holding my stomach, letting go of my throbbing head, I reached for the doorknob. Turning it, I opened the door, and, out of drowsiness, I had forgotten to move out of the way of the inward-swinging door. My forehead felt the full impact of the rectangular piece of wood. Today was just not my day, was it?

Cautiously, I made my way to the kitchen, turning on every possible light I could on the way. The creaks upstairs made the place creepy, so I turned on the television. The voices would calm me down, I'm sure. I made my way to the fridge, and opened the door. Looking inside, I saw nothing of immediate interest, and, with a sigh, closed it.

Next, the cupboards. I opened each cupboard, one after the other, but came up with nothing. There was nothing in my pantry either. I looked over at the stove. The green, digital numbers said 3:26 AM. That late, huh? Or is it actually early? Which is it? Late, or early? I guess I'll never know.

Walking back to my room, with all the lights on, I glanced at my bedroom floor. There was a soft pillow on the ground. That must have been the cause of my trip earlier. I picked it up and threw it across my room. I heard a thud, and the ground shook a little. A tad bit startled, I walked over to where I had just thrown my pillow. On the ground was an 8-Ball. Y'know. Those little black balls that looked like the pool balls. You'd ask it a question, shake it, and it'd give you an answer.

I picked it up off the ground, and dusted it off a bit. I decided to ask it a question.

“Is today going to be a regular day?” I asked.

I shook it. I shook it hard. Maybe I thought this would help me sleep. Maybe I thought it'd make the creaks go away. Not that I could hear the creaks very well. The TV was kinda loud. The funny thing is, I did end up sleeping after, and the creaks did go away.

It said, “Better not tell you now.”

How odd.
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So, yeah, I don't expect you to think it's good. But either way, go ahead and say anything about it.

[Coldman9]

This seems interesting, I can't wait for more. Are the next chapters gonna be longer?

[Disc Jockey]

I like it, but you changed from present tense to past tense. Try not to do that. Can't wait to see more! ^^

[Abbot]

Originally Posted by Coldman9

This seems interesting, I can't wait for more. Are the next chapters gonna be longer?

Yeah, the chapter's are definitely going to be longer. Blame that on me being tired, and on me not being able to think of anything else that would fit the chapter.

Originally Posted by Disc Jockey

I like it, but you changed from present tense to past tense. Try not to do that. Can't wait to see more! ^^

Yeah, I have a problem with that sometimes. Also, I was writing at like, 2 in the morning. Wasn't the greatest idea. xD

[Disc Jockey]

That's okay, that's when I started writing too! xD I get the best ideas when I'm overtired.

[Abbot]

Yeah... Trust me. This is a weird idea I've come up with. It's kind of insane, in a way. Insane, or psychotic? I'm not sure exactly what to call it. Just, wait for the next chapter. I think the third chapter will get the main plot going.

[Disc Jockey]

i keep re-reading it, and it's really good.
take your time though, good wriiting shouldn't be rushed.

[Abbot]

Of course, of course. Quality takes time, right? :P

[Disc Jockey]

well duhhhh :D

twenty-five charaacters.

[Abbot]

So. I finished chapter two. It's... really weird. And I can't believe I finished it that fast. It's kind of short as well. Longer than the first chapter, though. No real plot-spoilers yet, but we now know the main character's name, and there are two other characters introduced. Well, here it is:

Oh, you tease. – 2

It was a measly 5:53 AM when I woke up. I don't even remember when I had fallen asleep. I looked around me. I didn't see the walls of my room like I usually did. That's when I realized I was on the floor. I went to get up, but my bed-frame was in the way. My torso had been under my bed. My head started to ache. Again.

I slid out from under my bed, and started to get up. My right foot firmly placed itself around that 8-ball. I fell backwards, back onto the floor. I turned around on my back, and tried to get up again. Success. I picked the 8-ball up, and put it back on its respective shelf. My pillow was lying in front of the shelf. I picked that up, placed it on my bed, and fell asleep again. It was 6:11 AM.

~. . .~

I woke up around 8 AM to an annoying ringing sound. I kept my eyes closed, and tried to ignore it. Ring, ring, ring. It paused. Ring, ring, ring. It paused again. Ring, ring. There were only two rings that time. There was no ringing for a while, it seemed. About a minute later, I heard it again. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring. That's when I realized that I had a phone.

Groggily, I got out of my bed. My blanket was at the edge of it. I walked over to my closet quickly, when I realized I was wearing clothes. Ring, ring, ring. The ringing started. Ring, ring, ring. Where was the phone? Ring, ring, ring. I walked out of my room, into the main room. Ring, ring. I walked over to where I usually had my phone. It wasn't there. Go figure. I walked into the second bedroom, and looked around a bit. No phone in sight. Why did I have a second bedroom, anyways? I live alone. Ring, ring, ring. There it was again. Ring, ring, ring. The sound was faint. Ring, ring, ring. It obviously wasn't in here. Ring, ring. Maybe I should have followed the sound earlier. It stopped. I walked out into the main room. I walked into the bathroom, not finding any results there either. Ring, ring, ring. I decided to follow the sound, this time. Ring, ring, ring. It was coming from the kitchen. Ring, ring, ring. I walked in to the kitchen and looked around. Ring, ring. Nothing. Where could the phone be? I sat down, waiting for the next call. I looked over at the stove. It was 8:23 AM. Huh. Ring, ring, ring. There it was. Ring, ring, ring. Oh, that's where it was. Ring, ring, ring. How did it end up there? Ring, ring. I opened the door.

It was in the fridge.

I grabbed the phone up, and quickly clicked the talk button. All I heard was a dial-tone. I missed the call. I waited. Sure enough, the phone started to ring again. I clicked 'Talk'.

“Jacques, Jacques, Jacques, Jacques, Jacques, Jacques, Jacques!” was what came out of the receiving end of the phone.

It was Geoffrey. I'd never tell him, but he was kind of immature for a twenty-something year-old. I guess you could tell by looking at him, though. He was one of those bulky guys who always wore Hawaiian shirts and swim trunk-like shorts. Hawaiian. Hawaiian pizza's good. I should go get some.

“Jacques! Are you there!? I've got news, I've got news!” Geoffrey's gruff voice did not fit his attitude.

“Yeah, I'm here,” I replied. “What did you call me about? You woke me up, you know.”

“Who cares? This is better than sleeping!” Somehow, I doubted that.

“Well, hurry up and tell me.” I was getting impatient. “I'm getting impatient.”

“Well, I can't tell you right away. That would ruin the dramatic suspense.”

“Who cares about suspense!? This isn't a soap opera.”

“Hey. Soap operas are good, okay? They're so heartwarming at times, and then, at other times, they can invoke the craziest rage! It's like a party, but it's stuck in a small colour box.”

“What are you talking about? Soap operas are nothing like parties.”

“Sure, they are. Sometimes it feels like you're right there with the main heroine, getting your heart broken by every guy you seem to pass.”

“And getting an STD from every one of those guys, as well.”

“Shut up, let me finish.”

“Go ahead. It's not like I'm listening anyways.”

“God, I hate you.” He paused for a little bit. “What were we talking about again?”

“I don't know, you phoned me, didn't you?”

“Oh, right. Why didn't you answer right away?”

“Couldn't find my phone. Don't ask where it was.”

“I won't. But, anyways. This is crazy news!” He paused.

“Hurry up and tell me, already!”

“Fine. You spoil-sport,” he whined. “Okay. You know how tomorrow's Friday, right? Well, guess what's this Sunday?”

“I don't know! But, you do! So why aren't you telling me!?”

“The circus is coming to town!”

At this point, I felt like drop-kicking the phone. I would never actually, though. I'd be out of a phone. And I doubt I had the strength to do any damage, anyways. I didn't say anything. And neither did Geoffrey for a while. It was like one of those scenes in a movie where you know that everyone was feeling stupid. Except, this time, one of the actors was in denial.

I finally said something. “The... circus.” I tried to hide the disbelief in my voice.

“You sound disappointed.” It didn't work.

“It's the circus. Isn't that for kids?”

“No way, man! Here, I won three tickets. You're coming with me, and you'll see how awesome it is.”

“I'm sure I'll be in awe. Wait, three tickets? Who else is going?”

“I don't know. I thought you'd invite someone.”

“Me? I'm a social outcast. You're my only friend, and even then, sometimes I wish you weren't.”

“That's a little mean. Probably true, though. Whatever. I'm giving you the extra ticket anyways. Meet me at the pizza parlour downtown, and I'll give it to you there.”

“Fine. Hey, where did you win the tickets anyways?”

“Oh. Where? Some shop somewhere opened up a new lottery. There are a bunch of prizes to be won. I'm pretty sure everyone wins something when they participate, too. You should check it out sometime. But not right now, you're meeting me at Frank's. See you in a bit.”

“Wait, what's the shop called?”

“Um. Let's see. What was it called... what was it called? I don't know, I forget. All I know is it was somewhere uptown, and it sold those 8-Balls you're so fond of.”

Well, wasn't that creepy?

~. . .~

I made it to Frank's in record time. Even before Geoffrey did. Then again, he was always late for things. Even if he set everything up. It's even weirder that he lives downtown, and I live uptown. I'm sure he should've been here before me. Well, whatever. There was no use waiting for him. I was craving Hawaiian pizza.

I quickly ordered some Pepsi and a small Hawaiian. After the waitress spilled my Pepsi all over my shirt, and dropped the pizza face-down on the table, I concluded that today was definitely not my day. The waitress swiftly apologized and got me another Pepsi, carefully placing it on my new table. They needed to clean the old one. When she asked if I wanted another Hawaiian, I declined the offer. I lost my craving when it had splattered all over the table. For some reason, I could only think of those weird horror movies with the fake blood.

I sipped my Pepsi contently, looking around at my surroundings. I was sitting outside. Everything was pretty normal. Or so I thought. There was the McDonald's across the street, with it's golden arches emanating its self-ego. Cars and trucks whizzed by each other on the road. Everyone was in such a hurry. I think there was almost an accident, too. I forget.

I got bored of everything around me, and looked back at my table. There was something strange. There was a girl sitting across from me, and I hadn't even noticed her. Did I know her? She was wearing a white dress-shirt over a blue tank-top. Her belt was oddly coloured. Pinks, and blues, and yellows everywhere. She was wearing a skirt that went down to her knees, as well.

She kept staring at me. It was as if something was on my face. I wouldn't doubt it. There was probably some pepperoni hanging off of my chin. I looked at a window. My face looked pretty normal. I looked back at the girl. I had decided to say something.

“Um, hello. I'm sorry. I have a horrible memory. Have I met you somewhere?”

She just kept staring. She was kind of pretty. She had blonde hair that went just past her shoulders. Her bangs were nice, too. She had these shiny earrings on, as well. If she wasn't so creepy, I'd try to seduce her. Not that I'd be able to, in the first place.

“My name's Alice,” she finally replied. “No, you don't know me.”

“Oh, well, my name is Jacques. Nice to meet you,” I said, as I extended my arm out, in gesture of a handshake.

She didn't move her hands. She didn't move her eyes either. They were fixed intently on me. It was kind of unnerving. I didn't like eye contact.

“Okay...” I withdrew my hand, and scratched my head, looking around.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. I looked over, and Alice started to get up. I was about to say goodbye, when she grabbed me by the arm. I thought she might be taking me somewhere. I was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.

She put her foot in front of mine, and pushed me forward. I went tumbling to the ground, and ran into a flowerbed. I sprawled out on my back, and opened my eyes in time to see Alice's fist coming straight for my face. Ouch. That was my nose. I squealed in pain, and held my nose with both of my hands. I looked up at her, and saw her coming for me. I closed my eyes, braced for impact, when I felt lips on my cheek. She kissed me. What was that about?

She whispered into my ear, “Bye,” and she walked away, treating me like a speed bump. Her foot went into my stomach, and I could feel my digestive acids sloshing around. What a bizarre lady.

Today was probably the worst day of my life, so far. My face had probably gone through so much physical trauma, it'd never be the same. There was an upside, though. Alice was wearing strawberries.

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Again, I don't know what goes on in my mind sometimes. Critique as you like. Oh, and it goes from past to present to past tense randomly. I really can't tell sometimes. So I decided to use that to my advantage. Just blame it on the main character being horrible at writing. (his character is lazy)

[Shadow-Love]

However you right it, it makes sense to me. I like it, waiting eagerly for the next chapter.

[Disc Jockey]

Haha, that was amazing!!! That was a great chapter, so much detail. Geoffery is a loser, I love it! I'm really excited for more of Alice and Jacques! :)

[Abbot]

Haha, thanks. Yeah, I plan to explain Alice one of these days. Not now of course. But, now you finally get to know the plot in the next chapter! If all goes well, I'll have it up today, or sometime really early tomorrow. Maybe 2 AM again.

And yes, I like Geoffrey, too. But I like Jacques better. :P

[Coldman9]

That was a good chapter. It was interesting and funny to begin with. Just one question.
When Jacques was talking about stawberries, did he mean Alice's underwear?

[Disc Jockey]

Yay, 2AM poosts! :3

Agreed, Geoffrey is a third wheel. But maybe he'll break out of his shell and get his own woman!