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Old August 26th, 2009, 12:07 PM   #1
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Default Panda dearest you

Deep in the woods 1820 a small panda cub played, crawling and prancing around. Where this cubs mother be? Shortly lost her life when a sharp bang" ringed through the woods. The panda jolted, unsure of what had just accured, to him it was new.

Crawling through the woods did he find a his mother laying down upon the leaves. He crawled towards her, a sad gleam rushing through his eyes. A click and a boom, everything turned away, nothing but a fade of darkness and blur.

A curious animal yes? The two hunters ran through the woods looking for more of same animal. They both froze, another panda appeared in front of them. As the hunter straightened his shot, he noticed something. This panda has a bullet wound, its eyes were darker and its coat all meshed.
Though the hunter sensed their was something off he pulled the trigger....nothing happened. He pulled the trigger again...nothing. The panda took running, past many tress, a fog grew through the woods.

The hunters were never seen or heard from again..





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Old August 26th, 2009, 11:33 PM   #2
how annoying.
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Default Re: Panda dearest you

I ask you why exactly I needed to read this. Nothing is really explained, nothing is really here to explain.

You have some issues with grammar and whatnot.
After an ellipsis there is a space between the next word.
So it'd be like this:
... he pulled the trigger... nothing happened.
There's also only three. Never more, never less.
Although, it could just be "pulled the trigger but nothing happened at all."
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Old September 9th, 2009, 03:06 AM   #3
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Default Re: Panda dearest you

I like this story, it's creative
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