Rouge. A Thife's Story

[Yamigo1000]

"IT'S GONE!!??" The Museum of Art manager yelled, "How could a $300,000 dollar painting of every Afriacan Ameriacan civival rights leader be GONE!!??" Pure rage and confusion was in his eye. I could tell. Everyone could tell. Everyone that was in the room was a police officer except me. I was in disguis as one. "I dont know what happened," said the gaurd in charge of this places security, "First everything's fine, than the power goes out for like a split second, than the power's back on like 10 seconds later and it was GONE, but that was all that was stolen." The manager pinched the skin in between his eyes and sighed heavily and stomped back into the crime sceen, the security gaurd followed. I was in the far corner of the room, listening for every single word comeing out of everyones mouth. "What about the back-up camera," he began to ask., "Did that that catch anything?" "Tech," said the security gaurd, "they took that out too. But there was something I found intresting." The manager should've been leaping for joy, but he was to mad to even care, he just wanted to hear it. "When the lights went out, the other cameras came on while the two in here stayed off." Man, Device is one hell of a hacker! I thought to myself, I knew she was good but not that good. I got up from where I was pretending to find clues and walked over to where I had stole the painting and took a playing card out of my poket and placed it on the floor. That's right, I stole it! So what, I'm a thief, big deal! Some people act like they never stol something befor. "Uh, sir," I yeld over at the manager, "I think I found the culprets." The manager and the security officer paced over to me over to my current location. We knelt down and staered at the card. "What is it?" The gaurd asked. "It's a card you fat idiot!" the manager replied, still angry at the gaurd. "Not just any old card,". I picked it up and showed it to the two others, "Rouge's card." Rouge was the name of a group of notorius thieves. Every time they made a higst, they'd leaver a joker card with the eyes crossed out and the word Rouge on the top. It was what they did to show them who did it.And I am one of them. And this, is my story. A Rouge's story.

[Annoyance]

Originally Posted by Yamigo1000

"IT'S GONE!!??" The Museum of Art manager yelled, "How could a $300,000 dollar painting of every Afriacan Ameriacan civival rights leader be GONE!!??" Pure rage and confusion was in his eye. I could tell. Everyone could tell. Everyone that was in the room was a police officer except me. I was in disguis as one. "I dont know what happened," said the gaurd in charge of this places security, "First everything's fine, than the power goes out for like a split second, than the power's back on like 10 seconds later and it was GONE, but that was all that was stolen." The manager pinched the skin in between his eyes and sighed heavily and stomped back into the crime sceen, the security gaurd followed. I was in the far corner of the room, listening for every single word comeing out of everyones mouth. "What about the back-up camera," he began to ask., "Did that that catch anything?" "Tech," said the security gaurd, "they took that out too. But there was something I found intresting." The manager should've been leaping for joy, but he was to mad to even care, he just wanted to hear it. "When the lights went out, the other cameras came on while the two in here stayed off." Man, Device is one hell of a hacker! I thought to myself, I knew she was good but not that good. I got up from where I was pretending to find clues and walked over to where I had stole the painting and took a playing card out of my poket and placed it on the floor. That's right, I stole it! So what, I'm a thief, big deal! Some people act like they never stol something befor. "Uh, sir," I yeld over at the manager, "I think I found the culprets." The manager and the security officer paced over to me over to my current location. We knelt down and staered at the card. "What is it?" The gaurd asked. "It's a card you fat idiot!" the manager replied, still angry at the gaurd. "Not just any old card,". I picked it up and showed it to the two others, "Rouge's card." Rouge was the name of a group of notorius thieves. Every time they made a higst, they'd leaver a joker card with the eyes crossed out and the word Rouge on the top. It was what they did to show them who did it.And I am one of them. And this, is my story. A Rouge's story.

Try getting a proof reader to look through what you write before you say, "I am done."
A teacher or some other person out there can be a lot of help.

Also, I have an odd feeling about how you give us all this information in this tiny little paragraph. Let the reader figure it out, show us, don't tell us. Dialogue can be key to this.

Oh, and every time a person speaks, they get a new paragraph, okay?

[Lyfin]

Ooh! I like it! X3

But I thought you were talking about Rouge the Bat at first XD

[AngelRoxas]

Originally Posted by Lyfin

But I thought you were talking about Rouge the Bat at first XD

me too!!! but i like the story!

[Annoyance]

I think he meant the word "Rogue" not "Rouge".