needles made for sewing a fabric-less canvas

[Takushi Rena]

How do you know when a dream is really, truly a dream?

For this girl... she wished and hoped so terribly that this was a dream.

Struggling to be conscious, for her eyes to snap open wide. To fall back onto that fluffy, soft pillow and be caressed beneath the comfort of those warm, soft sheets. To say that it was only a nightmare... and close your eyes, drifting back slowly and surely into slumber beneath the night sky.

Or was this real?

Was she really there, sitting in that cold chair made of icy steel? Pinned to the back, her neck and wrists halted in movement by those slithering, sleek creatures as their scaly skin scraped across her. Yellow fangs unsheathed, unblinking eyes staring at the pale brat as she sat, silent, with mouth agog. Eyes squeezed shut beneath such a simple black strip of cloth.

Her arms... hands... feet... legs... everything was numb. She could feel nothing, could move nothing. Sitting silent, just as that shadow wanted.

She wished and hoped, heart slamming over and over and over again in her throat... This was a dream. Only a dream. A nightmare... A wicked, horrible nightmare. She would wake up and be safe and secure again beneath those sheets and covers.

No, she told herself, of course this isn't a dream.

For she knew that... when she felt only one thing in this sea of static-prickling numb.

That sleek, silver needle piercing through her lip and the scratchy, thick yarn that pulled through her skin.

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This is a rough, ROUGH draft and I've only editted it a little, tiny bit. I won't go into the details behind this, as that would spoil the surprise. If you read this and find it interesting, please please PLEASE let me know! I'm going to keep on improving this until I have a 2nd or 3rd draft of everything done. Also, if you have any criticism, THROW IT! D: I seriously need criticism on this.

If you read this, thank you veryvery much! :D

[Raynie]

I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

I do find this interesting and making me want to read more and find out more about it.

The last bit with the scratchy thread and sliver needle, was shuddering and I could easily imagine where and how it looks like on her lip. It could be creepier though, I'm sure you'll think of another touch to it. Maybe it's also due to the fact that I watch too many horror movies and I'm, in a weird way, immune to those things. :B

But really, I'm liking it already, so keep going with this. I can't wait to read more. :D

[Lyfin]

Ooh! I like it! Good work!

Keep going, k'? X3

[Takushi Rena]

Originally Posted by Raynie

I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

I do find this interesting and making me want to read more and find out more about it.

The last bit with the scratchy thread and sliver needle, was shuddering and I could easily imagine where and how it looks like on her lip. It could be creepier though, I'm sure you'll think of another touch to it. Maybe it's also due to the fact that I watch too many horror movies and I'm, in a weird way, immune to those things. :B

But really, I'm liking it already, so keep going with this. I can't wait to read more. :D

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. THANK YOU. ;____; If it gets people interested and sets the mood, then FAN-TAB-ULOUS. 8D Thank yew very much for the comment! Glad you liked it, too! :D And yaaaaay the part with the needle was creepy. XD; I'll figure out a way to make it creepier, though. :DD

Originally Posted by Lyfin

Ooh! I like it! Good work!

Keep going, k'? X3

Thank you very much for the comment! Glad you liked it! :)

I'm not going to post up more of the story, partially because I haven't written it yet and partially because I'd rather not... I just posted up the prologue so I could get some criticism. xD; If anybody else has any criticism, PLEEEEEEASE POST EET ;___; Pweasepweasepweaseeee. I've gotten some criticism from deviantART, though. Yaaaay! :D I'll probably post up an improved version based on the criticism I've received.

Uhhh... I don't want to post in this thread without putting up another story, 'cause that seems strange... so I'll post up this drabble/character sketch I started writing. It's not finished and it's a draft, but I wanted to post it. xD; You don't have to post any criticism on this! I'll post up the finished version later... And, actually, both of these stories kinda take place in the same area... xD; Random yayyyy.

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One... flickering... lightbulb...

bursts into dust.

The room, dark and wide. You hear those reverberating footsteps.

click... click...

They echo. Hollow. Digging into your ears. Curling and swirling in your ear canals. Like a tedious, viscous spider with an itch to sink its teeth into your flesh.

So viscous... vile...

In such a pitch-black place... those irritating, nails-on-chalkboard footsteps are your only friends.

click... click...

Things become lighter. Your eyes begin to see through this inky, inky blackness, making out shapes and silhouettes.

Crumbling, curling walls tower over you, as if a foot were hovering over the dot-sized bug that you were. One motion and you would fall, failing to rise.

A narrow, lanky room adorned with metallic, needle-thin knick-knacks. Artistic sculptures with a viscous purpose sparkling and smirking as you step past. Each were held into place by webs of thick, black string... eating these spiny treasures into decay.

click... click...

Hollow. Nails-on-chalkboard screeching.

Your eyes gaze ahead... as a black, lanky shape. A chairless table sitting aimlessly in the midst of this room.

There was only one towering, twisted chair. At the other side of this table... Empty, only filled with subtle blackness.

click... click...

Your steps turn. You run a bony finger across the edge of this bench, thin grains running across your fingertip.

click... click...

You go down the side of this long, long table... to step past the chair. To step through the door beyond it.

"Hellooooooo..."

A voice! Young and scratchy; a male's voice.

scuffscuffscuffclick!

Your shoes slide back, firmly planted at the end of the table.

[Raynie]

I liked this one, excluding the fact that it is a draft and all.

Holds the same atmosphere as the first one you posted, though not as suspenseful. The imagery is good and I especially liked the crumbling curling walls towering over you part, gives it that extra decay-ness of the surroundings. Also makes it sound almost like paper in a way, making it more fragile.

-insert all the other awesome stuff I've said before- :B

[Takushi Rena]

Originally Posted by Raynie

I liked this one, excluding the fact that it is a draft and all.

Holds the same atmosphere as the first one you posted, though not as suspenseful. The imagery is good and I especially liked the crumbling curling walls towering over you part, gives it that extra decay-ness of the surroundings. Also makes it sound almost like paper in a way, making it more fragile.

-insert all the other awesome stuff I've said before- :B

Thank yewwwww! :D I don't think I was trying to make that part as suspenseful; that was more for the end of it... But yay for gewd imagery. xD; Trying to work on that while balancing narrative, action, and dialogue... FUNNNESS. D: (of course... irony... there's not a lot of a dialogue in that XD;) I'm definitely using the crumbling, curling walls thing in the book, too. 8D~

Andandand... 'cause I don't want to leave a comment without a story again: HAVE AN EXCERPT. I don't think I'll put this specific written part in the book, but this is one of the major scenes. I was kinda experimenting with how Kris and Izak would interact, since I wrote something before that was so bland and their interaction SUCKED. D: I'm also trying to show and not tell. I "tell" in roleplays sometimes, which is icky... but it's easier to not do that in prose. :D

Anywho, here ya go! This isn't editted with italics and such, even though they're in the text... It's also a draft and definitely incomplete. Ignore that~ :D (i like to post up drafts sorries xD;)

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"Nngh!"

Arm throbbing. That supposed shadow had dug their hand into her arm, surely turning it to a flushed white; her skin prickled, the only feeling left in that spot.

That arm pressed against the back of the chair, along with its pair. Ice cold metal prickling her skin. A shudder echoed in her upper and fore arms as they were pressed into the back and into the arms. Fingernails scraping slightly, light on the brushed metal.

Eyes squinting through the darkness...

It was that same room from before! Where Ryan was. Where Astra was...

She could see the spiny, silver objects... the sickening sights of decay in the webs of yarn. Yet, there was only blackness before her once more.

"Nngh..." came a hiss. Momentum pressed against her back, hands hanging on tight as she surely launched out of the chair...

SLAM!

Metal chilling her spine! A pulsating, repulsive beat echoed through bone. A hiss pressed soft and slow through her teeth.

"Nice try."

A chill crept like ice up her spine...

In that blackness, those purple orbs looked like eerie, blacklight headlights. Small pupils staring right... at... her.

click.

One twitching, buzzing lightbulb. Dim, making everything a footstep away from the chair turn grey.

The light of the bulb was tinted yellow as it hovered right over the top of her head. Pulsating heat in the midst of cold, frigid blackness.

"So."

"Ah--"

A large, brown-tinted, ratty combat boot pressed against the girl's abdomen. The ball of their foot pressured hard against the bottom of her ribs, the mud and dirt faltering and caking into her baggy, black t-shirt.

"I've heard..."

His black pants squeaked as his knee bent forwards. Tattered, shredded jeans bunched into his tattered, shredded boots. You could only see his knee trying to push your nose into your face.

"...that you don't like it here."

Stubby fingernails tinked and clicked on the thick, brushed metal arms, arms and hands pulled back as Kris dug her back into the chair. Those harsh, glaring orbs jerked to the black concrete.

"Who're you?"

A light chuckle.

His knee pulled back, his foot pressing against her ribs as if to crush her bone. His silhouette showed two bony arms folded across his chest.

"RenigmaSTER."

The whites of her eyes flashed.

Those posters... those signs... the graffitied walls! Everything! That name was everywhere. They had heard it so many times.

Was he the reason?

A scoff, mixing with a chuckle. A smirk formed at the very edge of her lips. Her eyes never dared to set on the man towering over her.

"Stupid name..."

"Thanks."

Pressing harder and harder. Kris could've sworn she heard a light crackle as his boot thrusted and crushed against her squishy flesh.

Another hiss came through her teeth baring to tempting to break, her stomach recoiling back with her back. Those eyes still stared at the floor. Her hands still dug into the arms of this damn chair.

"Name's Izak," said the man. Still towering, still a bony silhouette, and still glaring with those indigo eyes, "Izak Noir."

"Whatever."

"And it's rude..."

A bony finger and thumb lightly pressed against the sides of her chin... before ripping her gaze with violence forwards. Pressing her head into the back of the chair, digging his nails into her flesh and bone.

"...to ignore someone when they're talking to you."

His voice barely had any violence to it; it was even just touched with mischief. But Kris gave a harsh cringe when she felt two stubby nails prick into her skin.

"A-ah..." came her shuddering voice. Gaze locked on the hand, covered by a thin, tattered glove with no fingers.