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Old April 7th, 2009, 04:58 AM   #46
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Default Re: Brittle Bullet

Could a mod please delete that last post.
Thats just not cool.
Anyway... here is the next chapter.
I'm trying out a new structure to the chapters. Tell me what you think.
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Chris was confused at what he was seeing. The pistol that Gemini had been holding had simply vanished into his arm. Now it seemed as if something inside was moving around. Gemini was smiling gleefully at his enemy's confusion. Chris slowly got to his feet again, his other gun in hand and at the ready.

Brittle Bullet
Chapter 13: The Birth of Strength

Gemini turned his sinister gaze to his arm. His skin slowly peeled open and pieces of metal began to erupt and surround his arm. Parts that looked like extra clips of ammo hung from his elbow. A barrel formed at the end. One clip clicked into place on the underside of his arm. A light turned on and radiated a red number "3" next to the other ammo clips.

Chris was confused and intrigued at the same time.

"What the hell are you?!" he yelled at Gemini.

"Well," he started not knowing what to say next. "Basically, I can combine my DNA in my body with any weapon and transform my limbs. My right arm has become a high-powered automatic machine gun."

His mind raced at how badly he was about to get torn up. Chris looked to the gun in his hand. I've only got 11 shots left since I've only fired one bullet with each gun. But now the other one is gone. I need to use them wisely. He placed his index finger back on the trigger slowly. Focusing his thoughts on his open areas.

"What exactly do you expect to do to me with that weak ass little hand gun of yours?" he asked Chris snidely.

"Just enough to kill you I suppose," he replied confidently.
"Well then let me ask you something," Gemini responded. "Is it fear or stupidity that drives you forward?"
"Excuse me?"
"Which do you act upon? The fact that you're afraid or the fact that you're stupid?"
"Fuck you!! I'm doing this because I have no fear!! I know i can kill you!!"
"Have no fear? Must be stupidity, then. I figured as much."

Chris growled angrily. His grip on the gun got tighter. I just have to aim at his weak spots. He may have to aim with his right and left arms. I'll pick at his sides while they're raised at me. Gemini took a few steps to the right. He began to raise his right arm. As soon as Chris tightened his finger on the trigger, the chaos ensued.

Bullets stormed from the gun on Gemini's arm. He was forced to dive and roll to get away. The bullets flew so fast that they pierced the hangar door making new bullet holes to go with the old ones. Chris saw that Gemini couldn't stop firing. He simply turned to follow with the barrel.

The bullets stopped and all that was heard was clicking. Chris realized that he was out of ammo. The empty clip fired out onto the ground and a fresh one took its place. The number on his arm went from "3" to "2." So he has a time limit then? I'll just wait it out.

*****

Scorpio jumped over the yo-yo and landed softly with no change in expression. Two straps shot out at Isaac and latched onto his arms. Blood poured from fresh and old wounds as he cringed in pain.

"You don't remember how tough we are at all, huh?" asked Scorpio laughing. "Well it's time for a little lesson in battle Strength 101. HAHAHA!!"
"Fuck you!!" yelled Isaac in response. "We will never surrender or lose to scum like you and Gemini."
"Once again, you're underestmating us."
"I think it's the other way around."

Isaac twitched his right hand. A yo-yo shot up and smashed into the back of Scorpio's head. The straps loosened and fell out and retreated back to their owner. Isaac retracted both of his yo-yos.

"That is a major pain in the ass man," said Scorpio. "That could really get on someone's nerves."

Isaac simply smiled in response. He began wildly and somewhat blindly firing out his two yo-yos at Scorpio. All he could do was dodge them and hoped he didn't get hit in the head again. One yo-yo twisted around his ankles and tripped him, but it kept him from falling as another wrapped around his neck and held him in place.

"How long have I waited for this opprotunity?" asked Isaac rhetorically.
"You'll have to wait a little longer." He tried to move his straps but he saw that the yo-yo around his ankles was holding them in place as well.
"All you did was put me in submission. What are you gonna kill me with?"
"I already had my weapon around your neck."

Scorpio felt something harden and press against the bottom of his chin. The yo-yo had opened and a small gun barrel had emerged. Scorpio laughed and choked a little from the tightness of the yo-yo string.

"Goodbye you sad excuse for a human being," was all Isaac had left to say. He twisted his right hand and a bullet was sent flying up and out through Scorpio's brain. He was killed instantly leaving one disgusting mess on the floor.

Isaac retreived both yo-yos and turned to face the door to the hangar. He walked over and opened the door to find a scene he did not expect.

*****

Chris sat on the ground bleeding from being shot multiple times in both arms and both legs. Gemini's arm was aimed at him. His gun lay way too far away to get to now. Behind him, the hangar door opened and Issac stepped into view.

Gemini got a worried expression his face. He moved his gun and obliderated the gun the ground with a barrage if bullets. Chris began to laugh.

"Now you have nothing left. That number on your arm is about to become zero and then you are screwed," Chris said antagonizingly.
"You really are stupid aren't you?" Gemini looked his arm. The empty clip fell out and a brand new one took its place. The number clicked over to "0." "That number shows how many clips i still have after this one. Not how many I'm allowed to use."

Chris felt his heart drop suddenly. Gemini raised his right arm one last time to Chris' face. Isaac simply gaped at what was about to occur. The Guild's only hope at stopping the Zodiac was about to be blown to pieces.

Chris was staring into the barrel. He began to hallucinate and pictured the barrel becoming a mouth about to bite him in half and eat his remains. He closed his eyes and time seemed to slow down. His short life flashed before his eyes. Chris could hear the bullets begin to exit the barrel with a resonant boom. I need a shield!! I just don't want to die!! Just as that thought entered his head, the air surrounding him began to thicken and get heavier.
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To be continued in
B.B. Chapter 14

Last edited by tdc456; May 2nd, 2009 at 04:49 AM.
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Old April 7th, 2009, 05:00 AM   #47
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Default Re: Brittle Bullet

So, Chris has multiple powers?

Interesting, I was confused about who was who, but I haven't read this in a while.
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Old April 11th, 2009, 06:52 PM   #48
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Default Re: Brittle Bullet

This is a great story. The blocks of dialogue threw me off at first, but it's okay, I guess. Grammar-wise there aren't too many things to comment on.

I really like the part in the junkyard where Enka "activates" his arm. It reminded me of Ed Elric during the FMA movie. Isaac is a cool character. A bit enigmatic, but still awesome. Kibo is just epic. Nothing more to say. And Chris... Why the heck is he so important? I must know the answer. x_x Also, when did he get his memory taken away? And why did he leave the Zodiac? How long ago did he leave the Zodiac/join the Guild, anyway?

Onto the bad guys. The only person I really have anything to comment on is Zach/Gemini. Why was he the one that had to watch over Chris? Why not Capricorn or someone else? Also, during the time he had to monitor Chris he didn't feel any friendship at all? Not even in the slightest?

Okay, I'm done ranting. Looking forward to the next chapter. ^_^
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Old April 11th, 2009, 07:48 PM   #49
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Default Re: Brittle Bullet

Thanks a lot.
I'm gald you like it.
The next chapter is actually supposed to answer about 80% of the questions you just asked.
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Old April 13th, 2009, 10:07 PM   #50
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Okay. Now I definitely can't wait. =3
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Old April 28th, 2009, 06:24 AM   #51
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Default Re: Brittle Bullet

So I've been unbelievably busy with school lately.
I finally got some free time. I'm writing the next chapter right now and then I'm gonna have it beta read.
Then I'll be posting hopefully on wednesday or maybe even tomorrow night if I'm lucky.
Appreciate the reading. Thanks for being so patient.
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Old April 30th, 2009, 01:43 AM   #52
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Yay! Update coming soon. I totally get where you're coming from. School is taking up so much of my writing time too. It's crazy. And I can beta it for you, if you want.
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Old May 1st, 2009, 03:02 PM   #53
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Thanks.
Now I'm sick so I'll have more time to write.
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Old May 1st, 2009, 09:57 PM   #54
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Aw. Get better soon.
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Old May 2nd, 2009, 05:20 AM   #55
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Just sent the chapter to be beta read.
Should be up very soon.
Sorry about all the delay.
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Old May 7th, 2009, 06:08 AM   #56
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Default Re: Brittle Bullet

The air became thick and heavy around Chris. He felt sort of like oxygen was solidifying around him. Chris slowly opened his eyes. Looking around himself, his vision was distorted, but he realized that it was a bubble of air surrounding him. The bullets were being stopped one by one.

Brittle Bullet
Chapter 14: The Broken Bond

As the air slowly returned to its normal state, the bullets all fell to the ground. Gemini looked from Chris to his own arm. The number "0" disappeared. He felt a slight twinge of pain run from his arm, up his spine, and into his head.

Gemini cringed with pain. A massive crack ran along the gun around his arm. It split in half and fell to the ground. His arm was now back to normal.

Chris laughed a little. He was definitely surprised by his second power.

"What exactly did I just do?" Chris turned his question to Isaac.
"Well..." Isaac hesitated. "It appears as if you can condense air into a solid object. At least that's what I could see."
"Interesting," Chris thought for a few seconds. "Well, Gemini if this works the way I hope it does, then you're done for."

Gemini looked directly into Chris' eyes. Suddenly he has those eyes that Leo had when he told me his plan, thought Gemini. Standing up straight, he appeared unphased by this new developement.

"Oh, really?" said Gemini confidently. "You think so?"
"Yeah, I do." Chris looked to Isaac and nodded. Isaac pulled one yo-yo from his back pocket and began following Chris toward Gemini.

"Let's see how good I can get in a few seconds," Chris smiled maniacally. He threw a punch in mid-air and a small burst of solid air shot from his hand and collided with Gemini's chest. He was knocked to the ground.

"Now I want some damn answers," Chris said to Gemini. "Where exactly did I come from and who the hell am I?"

"You want answers?" Gemini seemed a little scared now. "Fine. I have your answers. What is your first question?" Chris thought hard about his first question.

"Start from the beginning," he said. "Why are we here today?"
"So you want the whole story in one answer?" They locked eyes yet again. Chris' were full of hatred and confusion.

"You used to be Libra," began Gemini. "I was the only person you trusted in the Zodiac besides Aquarius. You and I were on the fast track to being the strongest members there. But then you had a meeting with the Generals. They told you our true intentions."

Chris thought for a few seconds. He looked to Isaac. Isaac responded with a look that said 'I don't know what to tell you.' Chris simply turned back to Gemini to signal him to continue.

"They told you that we intended to rule the world as a terrorist syndicate. Your Righteous Complex kicked in and you went on about how no one deserves to be ruled that way. So you decided to leave. There was only one way to get out for you."

"So far you have't told me anything that I was hoping to hear. What does that have to do with today?" asked Chris interupting him.
"Just let me speak," replied Gemini sincerely.

"You went to Capricor and asked him to erase your memories of the Zodiac and replace them with new ones. He agreed after you and I persuaded him. That was exactly 6 months ago. So you went on to live a new life in high school."

"Then we heard about the Guild being formed. So Leo sent me to watch over you and make sure they couldn't put their hands on you to stop us. Our friendship was 100% real, I can assure you of that. But after all that, it was purely business for us."

"So now I'm here to stop you?" Chris questioned angrily. "Is that it?"
"Thats it," replied Gemini. "Satisfied?"

Chris backed up lowering his fists. Isaac backed up with him not knowing where exactly this was headed. Gemini got back to his feet.

Images he had never seen before flashed through his head. Chris developed a massive migraine. It was causing his powers to go haywire. From then, he did the only thing he could think of.

He threw punch after punch. Knocking Gemini back with burst of solid air. He had him pinned to a wall.

"OF COURSE I"M NOT FUCKING SATISFIED!!!!!" Chris screamed at the top of his lungs. "WHO THE FUCK AM I???!!!!!!!!!!!"

He clapped his hands together infront of himself. It formed into a giant wall of solidified air. It smashed Gemini one last time against the wall. All at once, Gemini suffered the most damage of his life. Bot lungs ruptured, his heart and appendix burst, his ribs collapsed inward, his eardrums exploded, and everything else wis ripped apart.

Gemini, with one last look into Chris' demon-like eyes, fell to the ground dead.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be continued in
B.B. Chapter 15
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Old May 7th, 2009, 06:11 AM   #57
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Default Re: Brittle Bullet

Exposition and death!

Nice job. We got some information... So, he was apart of Zodiac, eh?
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Old June 14th, 2009, 08:30 PM   #58
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Well for the past month, my computer has been out of comission.
But don't worry, I took advantage of that and wrote out five whole chapters.
You are going to love me for this. Brittle Bullet should be back on track soon.

Little Sidenote:
I recently downloaded the Piano Collections Kingdom Hearts CD. Absolutely amazing.
I highly recommend getting it.
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Old June 16th, 2009, 06:47 AM   #59
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Yay! I can't wait.

And this is yet another reminder for me to get my story going. >_< I really want to finish it before summer's done.
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Old June 17th, 2009, 07:49 AM   #60
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After a very long break, I have finally returned to my writing.
I hope you enjoy the next few chapters. I really took my time writing them so give me any tips or criticims, all is appreciated.
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Kibo sat in the conference room. The flourescint was slightly bothering his right eye. Enka was pacing impatiently back and forth waiting for the call to come. To let them know that Isaac and Chris had finally come home. A strange feeling hit Kibo. He sat up straight just in time to be thrown forward by the force of an explosion that sent the main door flying inward.

Brittle Bullet
Chapter 15: The Two Front War

The smoke and debris finished clearing the room and air. Employees stood up looking around and to the main entrance of the facility. Kibo pushed off fragments of the conference rrom door. Getting to his feet he searched the room for Enka. He saw him trapped beneath a metal support beam.

"Oh shit. Enka!!" Kibo ran to him to help him up. He looked up at Kibo and smiled stupidly.
"Forget me man. I can lift it myself. Go check the entrance and find out what happened." Enka managed to crank on both of his arms. Kibo sprinted away to the entrance.

Upon his arrival, several people looked at him as if he were their savior. Peering into the smoke, he swore that he could see a silhouette of someone walking into the building. The shadow seemed unusually small. He thought about it for a second, but he couldn't seem to find anyone in his mind that matched the shape. Then he realized all too late, for a loud high pitched voice almost like screeching filled his ears.

"Well well well," said Cancer as she stepped over a dead body on the threshold. "I made quite the mess didn't I?"

"Cancer, you bitch." Kibo reached towards his belt behind his back. His fingers wrapped loosely around his curved knife that he never used. "I thought we put you out of commission or good by messing up your eye."

Cancer made a funny yet angry grin and felt her black leather eye patch over her left eye. I her mind she thought, Oh, if you only knew.

"Well you came close. But what made you think that if they could put you back together that they couldn't fix me, ...big bro?"
"We haven't been siblings for a long time. I left the Zodiac because you thought it was all fun and games."
"It was for me. You just don't know how to really cut loose Saggi-"
"THAT"S NOT MY NAME!! You know damn well I abandonded that name the day I abandonded you."

Kibo turned around his right eye to reveal his red sniper scope. Cancer gazed at him with a sinister happiness that he knew all too well from her. She slowly reached up ripped her eye patch away. Underneath was an eye that perfectly matched her other.

"I had nearly forgotten but you just reminded me." Her pink hair flowed like a flambouyant fire on her head. "I guess it runs in the family." Her left eye spun around to reveal another eye only with an electric pink iris. But the pupil was pink as well.

"Don't tell me," said Kibo in astonishment. "Did they... you know?"
"Oh yes," she replied in euphoria. "Now we really are brother and sister again. Only they have perfected the technology now. Mine doesn't fuck with my brain."

Kibo swung his right arm wide and snapped his wrist upon release. The curved knife spun at Cancer's face. She simply held up her arm and the knife collided with her bracelet. It fell loudly to the floor. He dove behind an overturned desk using it as a shield.

"Come now," taunted Cancer. "You really expect those little play toys to hurt me. To beat me you're gonna have to break your 'Golden Rule'."
"That would make you happy wouldn't it? Well trust me, you don't want me to do that. It might as well be considered overkill."

Her barcelets glowed pink and transformed into her claws. One opened and revealed the barrel of an AK-47 as she slowly crept forward.

"Yeah. You've got good jokes bro, I'll give you that." She raised her right arm to face the desk. "I wished you would have put up more of a fight." Kibo shot out from behind the desk throwing three knives from each hand. Two sliced her right arm and one hit her left leg, cutting especially deep.

She fell to one knee in pain. Looking at herself, she thought that it wouldn't bother her much. Kibo was already under cover again. He looked at his wrists. They each had three horizontal lines on them. I've never done that much at one time. Sub-powers sure can be a bitch.

"Well, I thought you might try that trick. I can tell you haven't used it in a while. Your aim is way off. Oh well." Kibo fiddled around with his other curved knife he kept concealed. "Gotta go big bro. Let me leave you a parting gift."

As she turned to walk out the door her left clawed reshaped and launched a grenade that arched over straight at Kibo's face. Just what I wanted you to do bitch. He arched the curved knife at the grenade. The knife wrapped itself around the grenade and pulled it back at Cancer from behind.
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To be continued in
B.B. Chapter 16

I'm starting something new. If there are any questions you feel should have already been answered or just suggestions for character actions or plot, please send me a pm and I'll answer whatever questions you may have.

The next four chapters are already written so you may not see your idea until around after chapter 20.
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